Feature: Avoid these watches!
Buying a watch? Don’t buy these. These are the ones you absolutely must avoid at all costs, even if the fate of the world depends on it. The last one, though, that’s the one you really must avoid. Stay tuned.
The watch that’s right … on paper
As a kid, did you ever build a super-mega-spaceship fortress with Lego? One with guns and rockets and a tennis court? That thing had everything. And what a monstrosity it was. Personally, I think the moment you grow from a kid into an adult is the moment you realise that compromise is everything.
One compromise it’s important to make when buying a watch is that adding guns and rockets and a tennis court is fine on paper, but in reality it’s just not right. You can’t have everything. And having everything isn’t always the be-all and end-all anyway. The watch that sits just perfect in theory, thanks to its fancy bits and bobs, isn’t a guaranteed winner for you.
It’s a cruel irony, but the subjective nature of this whole deal means the very clear-cut details laid out on the spec sheet barely tell half the story. The rest is made up by your brain in an attempt to seem cultured or clever, or just because it likes the colour red for some inexplicable reason.
When you buy a watch, the fulfilment comes so much from the warm, fuzzy part that picks your favourite song and really doesn’t like anchovies that trying to reason with it is simply futile. You just can’t argue with your brain. It won’t listen, and you’d be a fool to ignore it. You just have to compromise.
The bargain watch just because it’s a bargain
There’s two schools of thought when it comes to bargains. One is that buying something at discount is money saved. Seems sensible. But wait. The other is that buying something you didn’t need for half the price is money wasted. Which do you think is right? If you said the first one, you’re probably my wife.
The second response seems so obvious until it actually happens to you. We all think we can drive better than everyone else. We all think we could disarm a mugger in a knife attack. And we all think that when a watch we don’t want turns up at an irresistible price, we can go right on there and resist it. Yeah. Good luck with that.
I mean it, good luck with that, because spending your money on a watch you don’t want because it’s cheap is just a good way to free up space in your wallet for no other reason than to disappoint yourself. Okay, so maybe you end up taking a chance with something you end up loving, but the exception doesn’t prove the rule.
The surprise bargain shouldn’t stop you checking something out just because you weren’t sure if you liked it or not, but don’t think I don’t know that you know that deep down you think that watch is uglier than satan’s armpit. There’s no point trying to pull the wool over your own eyes. You’re smarter than that.
The almost-but-not-quite-right watch
I don’t know if you’ve seen the film Everything, Everywhere All At Once, but it’s very good. Almost. It’s a fantastic concept and a beautiful story, but I were to be a picky stickler—I am—I’d say it doesn’t quite stick the landing. It’s not bad by any stretch—it’s just not perfect. Not quite. And that’s me quibbling over $10 or so for a film, so I definitely wouldn’t advise making the same kind of rash decision with hundreds or even thousands.
Yet people do, all the time. There’s more overlooking going on in watch collecting than in a Stephen King novel. Literally, there are people out there that see a watch, realise it’s not quite right, and then buy it anyway, for many, many monies. Statistically, you’re one of those people, and so am I, because for some stupid reason, we convince ourselves that good enough is good enough—right up until the point the transaction goes through and you realise all you bought was a lump in your throat and a pit in your stomach.
There are easier, cheaper ways to feel regret. Buying the watch that’s almost there but not quite is the errand of the foolish person. There are so many good watches out there that picking one that’s just a bit off just doesn’t need to happen. I mean, look at this way: it’s cheaper to not have the watch you don’t want than it is to have it.
The “I want the buzz of buying something shiny” watch
This next one I want you to listen to very carefully, because it’s one our puny ape brains get fooled by a lot. You, me, we all get a kick out of buying stuff whether we want it or not. That’s why my wife’s cupboard is brimmed with clothes that still have the labels on.
Now, considering this is Watchfinder, the pre-owned watch specialist, buy, sell, exchange, you might think I’d be mad for telling you not to buy a watch just because your wallet finger is itchy. But I am. If you’ve got cash to splash, that doesn’t mean the cash needs splashing. Never mind keeping your powder dry; keep your dollars free of splash damp and when the watch you really want comes along, you’ll be primed and ready to get it.
Think of it like this: you go out there buying up everything that moves and you’ll be like a hunter that shoots the first squirrel he sees. If our hunter doesn’t want to starve over squirrel soup, he’s going to let the squirrel wander by to do its squirrelly things and wait until they open a McDonalds instead, because that’s ultimately what he really wants. Be like the hunter and avoid shooting your wedge into the first watch you see.
The watch I tell you to get
But if there’s one watch you must absolutely never, ever get, well, first hit like and subscribe, and then I’ll tell you. Done it? Good. The watch you shouldn’t get is the one I tell you to get. If I think something’s great, if I extoll all the virtues, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. Best I can offer is advice, one person’s perspective, but ultimately I’m just a bonehead living in internet land. I can give you directions, but you’ve got to take the journey. I can be your guide but I can’t be your leader.
The amount of times I’ve seen people asking outright which watch they should buy is astounding, and kinda sad. Choosing a watch that reflects your values is really the only reason to choose one. It’s not so much a time-telling device as it is a coat of arms upon which to bear yourself, so make sure it’s you that you’re representing.
Same goes for any other person in a position of influence. Hear what they say and process it through your personal filter, see if it resonates with you before you commit your cash. If you’re a pushover like me, it’s all too easy to adopt someone else’s personality and wear it as your own.
What watch would you advise others to avoid?
